Not IF, but WHEN.....

So it has been awhile since I posted, and much has happened! I am a personal trainer at Gold's Gym in Ogden (who woulda thought THAT?), I am mentoring some wonderful clients through their own weight loss journeys, and I have the chance to speak to groups of people about overcoming challenges. Can I just say it? I LOVE what I do! And this new path is growing and expanding....I can't wait to see what the next year brings!

Ironically, since landing a job at Golds, I have really had to prioritize and make the time to get my own workouts in. I spend a lot of hours there and mentoring others, and sometimes there is no room left in my day for me. As I spoke with a friend today, I mentioned to her that perhaps one of the biggest (and my most favorite) changes that occurred through my transformation was my habit of daily exercise. Where I used to sit and wonder "if" I would get to exercise on a particular day, now it is a matter of "when."

It is no longer another task I have to add in to my day, it is part of it.
Part of me. Part of what makes me tick, feel alive, and gives me the motivation to go another day.
Have I been perfect? Absolutely not! I have days that the workout isn't the best, or ones that I completely miss, but I know when I do get it done, I feel better. I am better. My body feels stronger and my head feels clearer and rejuvenated

As I ran my 5 miles tonight (at 8:30 pm....just to get it in for the day) I heard the words to one of my favorite workout songs called "Past the Point" by Hilary Weeks.... and it reminded me that this transformation journey has not been perfect, but every step has been worth it.

"...every time I wanted to stop, I kept running, and every time I hit a wall, I climbed...breaking the bands of my self limitations...."

i am so grateful I "dared" to take this journey!

Happy Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary to me!
Today marks the day...
my sort of re-birthday.
I decided to take back my health and my life and really live 4 years ago today! It was the day I walked in and met with Adam, my amazing trainer for the first time and began what would become one of the greatest adventures of my life! Little did I know how much that pivotal moment would change my course forever....

So, for my anniversary, I woke up and after my mommy duties were over I went for a 4 mile run with my new friend Kim (it is my easy cardio day and I am training for a couple of runs in the spring) followed by a healthy breakfast and brainstorming my future career with some AMAZING women. Ironically, 4 years ago my goal was just to get to the gym and to NOT walk out before my appointment was over! So much has come in to my life over the last four years that I can't even begin to explain the blessings.
Thank you to everyone who has played a part in my story and for those who still on this journey with me. I am ubers-blessed to share my life with you and to glean from you such wonderful life lessons.
If there is one piece of advice, I would say ....JUST DO IT! Start right now and don't look back! I am soooo glad I made the choice to make the changes I needed in my life...and to keep making those choices. They have led me down such an amazing path. And hey....I happen to know a REALLY good trainer who can help you get started on your journey! wink wink.....

Priorities...

Okay, so it is the day after the big feast, and can I just tell you that I LOVE my new lifestyle. I have spent many years "guilting" over the dinner I ate on Thanksgiving. It used to be the day I thought "I will start my diet today" which of course ended up getting postponed until after the holidays and then it just ended up being on my list of New Year's Resolutions. Not anymore! Why? Because my priorities changed.

Four years ago I walked in to my local gym, at my highest weight, embarrassed, shy, and full of self doubt (in the MIDDLE of the holiday season I might add). Head hung low, I asked to hire a trainer. After some initial questions, this trainer looked at me and said "Are you sure you want to start now? Most people want to wait until after the holidays and life is less hectic." Um....kick in even more self doubt and embarrassment. No, I don't "want" to start at all. This is crazy, and why am I even in this gym having this conversation with Mr. Trainer who has no idea what courage it took to walk in the doors in the first place. I big part of me agreed with him. Oh well..pull out the "New Years Resolution" list.

As I was about to say, "You are right", this bigger piece of me (the part deep down inside who had been ignored for way too long) started screaming at me :"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...LIFE WILL NEVER BE LESS HECTIC THAN IT IS NOW! MAKE YOUR LIFE A PRIORITY THIS INSTANT! QUIT HOLDING ON TO YOUR EXCUSES AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE THE CHANGES YOU WANT TO SEE IN YOUR LIFE...NOW!" Cue in the little gumption I had left in life. Oh Mr. Trainer you have no idea what is about to happen. The gumption lit the fire. Here we go...are YOU ready? With a smile I replied, "No thanks, I would rather start right now." I haven't stopped to look back, and ...well...you know the rest of the story...

Life is about priorities. You decide what they are...no one else can. They may try to tell you what those priorities "should be" but ultimately you are the one who chooses. All of my priorities were in conflict, and up until then they had all been centered around keeping others happy and helping THEM with their priorities. I had made everyone else in my life a priority and I had nothing left to give anymore. Things had to change, and so it began. Priority shifting is hard work - but SO worth the struggle! Exercise, meal planning, grocery shopping, avoiding triggers, and writing down my feelings became just a few of the uncomfortable switches that have continued until they are now part of my life.

What changes have happened from these shifts? I choose to fuel my body in order to keep it strong and healthy, and I choose to plan for celebrations like Thanksgiving so that I can enjoy guilt free. I choose to exercise on most days because of what it does to my body and my mind - and I choose to push my workouts to new levels because when I am strong physically, I feel strong in other areas of my life. I choose to dwell in possibilities and let that positive energy propel me forward. I choose life and health for my body, mind, and spirit. Just to name a few. But a big change (and the most ironic discovery I made about priority shifts) was that in doing so, I not only made those "changes" I wanted so desperately in my life 4 years ago, but those around me that were my only priority get even more than before because they are getting the best version of me. I have more capacity to love and give and help when my priorities are in proper order. That is a win -win. Off to run...because that is what I do.

Happy priority making.....

Dream Big!

Okay, so it has been awhile since I posted...but with good reason. I had a lot going on in the last four months. I moved to be closer to family, quit my job, changed careers, and I am now trying to build my clientele as a personal trainer. Something that the "me" who started this journey NEVER imagined....but she did have big dreams for herself, and as I look back I realize the importance of visualizing what you want to achieve.

I started my transformation in September 2007 when I joined Weight Watchers and heard them tell me that for me to be "healthy" I had to lose a whopping 115 pounds. Quite a feat for a girl who couldn't walk around the block comfortably, had no motivation, and feared most big changes. But, as I sat there each week and began to have small successes, my mind began to see big possibilities. When asked what I would like to achieve after my weight loss, I replied that I wanted to be a leader at weight watchers...the current leader gave me an application. I had to be within 5 pounds of my goal weight...that was over 100 pounds... so I went home and taped the application to my mirror where I could see it every day. I imagined myself teaching the group as a confident success story.

After some time, I had to quit attending the program - not because it doesn't work, but because I had taken up running and the meetings conflicted with my participation in 5k runs. The application still remained visible in my room along with a written list of other big dreams that I wanted to pursue as my vision of my life and it's success expanded with my possibilities.

So the story would be great if I reported that I know work as a successful group leader at Weight Watchers...right? I have one better...

Yesterday (just 4 years later) I received a box that had my business cards inside. As I pulled one out to review it, I realized that the "application dream" had come to fruition - but on a much different scale! I now not only teach people the important principles of healthy nutrition, but teach them about fitness as a Personal Trainer/Educator at Snap Fitness. Who would have thought that back then? Certainly not me...

Norman Vincent Peale said

"Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture...Do not build up obstacles in your imagination."

I am so grateful I decided to dream big and then never let it go....

what's your big dream?

Here's To Finishing....

Have you ever been so focused on a goal - steps away from crossing that symbolic finish line only to get tripped up, decelerate your pace, or even worse yet - fall? Crossing it seemed so inevitable and effortless, and yet there you sit still unable to reach out and grasp that end piece that will make your hard work complete.
What started as dealing with a grumpy gall bladder which literally slowed my pace of life, my training pace, and left me stuck in a dangerous place in my own mind eventually turned in to an attitude of "Can I really do all the things I am dreaming of and aiming for?" Can I really reach my goal of blasting 10 pounds past my original weight loss goal that used to seem so impossible? Do I really have what it takes to pull this NASM certification thing together and become a personal trainer? What if I get "there" and I can't get a job....what if I get "there" and can't do it. What if....what if....what if....blah blah blah.

Then, last Saturday I decided to participate in a 5k hosted by our local YMCA. It was a course I had run a couple of years prior - and I figured it could replace my normal Saturday gym workout routine. As I began to run, all those what if's and self doubts stayed behind in the parking lot. The fresh air, the sound of the strong currents of the Rogue River, and the feeling of my feet moving one forward step at a time began to fill those empty parts of me with a host of possibilities. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Gratitude for the blessing it has been for me to live in a community that not only embraced me but supported me as I made the greatest changes in my life...ever. Gratitude for health and strength..for a body that can run, breath, hear, and feel everything I can at any given moment. Gratitude to be on a path in my life where I will be able to serve and lift others from a place I am very familiar with. Gratitude that age 37 feels way better than age 17 ever did and in awe that it can only get better. Gratitude for the knowledge that a loving God is responsible for it all.
Needless to say, it gave me the energy of both body and soul that I needed to finish those 5 kilometers. It was a good spring cleaning on all levels, for on that run that I made the conscious decision - yet again - to finish. Just do it. Regardless. Every time I have "jumped" it has been an exhilarating perfect experience. This is no different.

Excuses and success can't co-exist, and neither can fear and faith.

Those who have run with me expect that as the finish line gets near, I will turn and say "RUN WITH ALL YOU HAVE LEFT TO GIVE" before taking off. It's tradition, and the same thing happened on Saturday, however, this time I was the only one listening. I began to increase speed and sprint with every ounce of energy I had left inside of me. As I crossed, one man said,

"Wow....nice finish!"

Yup, and I hope to say that about my other "finishes" as well. I agree with the Apostle Paul in that I must "lay aside every weight (concern), and the sin (self doubt) which doth so easily beset ME, and run with patience the race that is set before ME." (Hebrews 12:1).
In doing do, I hope to say;

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course,
I have kept the faith."
1 Timothy 4:7

One Mile At A Time...

I knew Saturday was going to be more grueling than usual. Why? First, I am not really a runner and have yet to discover that zone that the real runners all talk about. You have heard of it – “all you can hear is your feet hitting the pavement and you are one with the road.” Not so much that way for me. I run because I have been given this incredible second chance at a lifestyle infused with fitness and I don’t want to waste anymore of my days not appreciating that precious gift. I love the feel of pushing this God-given machine to new heights, knowing that doing so will give me even more chances as challenges along the way. Running is not about a “time” or how perfect my run was. Running for me? It reminds me that for most of my life I would never have even dared to sign up, let alone lace up actual running shoes and do it. It assures me that I can do most anything that I put my mind to – even those things I once thought were impossible. And, it is also a time for me to reflect because I have absolutely nowhere to go or anything else to think about. On Saturday, I thought really hard while running, and decided to dedicate every mile to someone who had helped me get to this point in my life. Do you think perhaps that is why I can’t get into the zone? Maybe…but it sure made the mile markers more enjoyable. Here is my list. If you didn’t get on the list – don’t fret. I still have many more runs to enter and many more miles to ponder.

Mile 1 – dedicated to Alissa. You were the first one to dare me to run. You were the one who suggested we sign up for a 10K without ever having run in anything before. We accomplish big by dreaming big! Thank you for your friendship, your faith in me and in what we were doing (in more than just running). Thank you for waiting for me at that first finish line and challenging me to a second race. I got hooked to try it again….and again...and again!

Mile 2 – dedicated to Adam. Yes, friend…running at your side was an honor, but this is where I could no longer keep up with your speedy pace without pushing too hard (you are the one who has taught me the fine balance of challenging myself without overdoing it). Where do I begin? Thank you seems so insufficient. How do I thank someone for seeing that champion inside of me - even then - and patiently revealing her to me over such a long period of time? I hope she makes you proud and can give to others that same precious gift! Also - thank you for never letting me settle for less than what I could really do.

Mile 3 – dedicated to Laurie. This is when you stopped at the porta-potty and told me to keep running, and you would catch up! Did your heart rate ever get over 120? Please promise me you will run one at your best and reveal to yourself what you are really made of. Get that heart rate up there…your body was made to do this right? All I can say is thank goodness for T-ball on Saturday mornings. God sent you into the picture when I was about to give up and needed a boost forward. Yep! I hear your laughter and voice coming up behind me –talking to other runners….you social butterfly. You did catch up…..

Mile 4 – dedicated to my Eastern Canada Family. Wish I could name you all one by one, but I am tired and just like clockwork my right foot has gone numb. Why always around mile 4? Anyway.… True friends love you even when you aren’t that loveable. You guys loved me like that. My days with you were among the most difficult in my entire life, yet you loved me. And STILL do. How do you do it? How does your heart love so big that it can span miles and years without ever losing its power? Thank goodness for Facebook and cheap long distance. I still need you in my life!

Mile 5 – dedicated to my Grants Pass Family. . I hurt! That last hill was a doozy and my silly shoe keeps coming untied. Did I mention I still can’t feel my foot? I won’t quit! This is the turnaround point in this run, and that is what GP was for me – a chance to stop the downward spiral of my life and make a new turn. It has truly been a place of healing for me and each one of you has been a gift…a very integral part of that healing! This is home to me…a piece of my heart will always be in this wonderful community that so readily embraced and supported me. How do you ever really leave a place when it becomes part of who you are?

Mile 6 – dedicated to my Utah/Idaho Family. I am tired...thank goodness for the radio station blaring music and magical energy beans from the running store! I can’t tell you how good it feels to say that I am coming home! It will be an adjustment and a new adventure for me. I have been on my own for awhile, so be patient. But I am ready to be encircled in all the love, the chaos, and the built-in support system that a family is – especially the wonderful one I have been blessed with. I need you….and little man needs you.

Mile 7 – dedicated to Andrea. I am on the homestretch girl. Muscles are burning, heart is pumping. I can do this right? You always know how to look past the obstacles. What a blessing to have been here with you these last four years – a second chance to make up for 2 decades of not having you as a part of my life. Cousins by blood and sisters by heart. We have made some awesome memories here along with our little men! We have laughed and cried together on this journey, and I feel blessed to witness your strength and courage. All I can say is…you are not getting away from me again okay? Mexico this summer? I will settle for Vegas…anything and anywhere with you would be a blast! GAME ON!

Mile 8 – dedicated to Isaac. I am coming buddy! A small miracle has you waiting at the finish line for me today, and that makes this mile a little easier. I have to slow down just a bit, but I won’t stop! I wasn’t planning on seeing you today, and feel very blessed that you are there watching me run. I am glad you see me LIVING my life – because YOU are the main reason I decided to change it! You are so precious to me and gave me a reason to hold on when I wanted to quit. I knew you deserved your momma to be at her best....and I wanted to be able to play with you and keep up with you – my greatest gift in life! I love you infinity!

Mile 9 – dedicated to Amanda J. from CNW. I think I can, I think I can. Girl, I am about ready to die…can’t I just stop for a bit? Catch my breath? No. Thinking about you right now – and how you are embarking on this same journey. Can I just say – YOU SO GOT THIS! Don’t give up okay? Let’s keep in touch – I want to witness your journey - even if it is from afar. The incredible members at the Club are going to need another poster girl for taking back her life and living out loud…people like to know it is possible and will be silently watching - and Adam needs a new project to keep him on his toes.

Mile 10 – dedicated to me. It may sound selfish, but this one is for me. I can’t tell you how badly I am hurting right now. Every muscle in my body is screaming, and my digestive system is having spasms! An energy bean causes burping, and the water won’t go down. It must know we have just a little bit to go and all systems are off until we get there! I can feel the effects of surgery and a month without training. I have to dig deep right now….within myself and find just a little more gumption to move forward – one painful step at a time. Everything I have really needed to get to this point in my life – lies within me. While I may need outside resources to help – the Lord has given me all the power that I need – right inside – to propel my life forward. There the finish line...giving it all I have!

The Story...

As you know, I discovered I had gall bladder disease while training for this year's Pear Blossom Run (an annual mile run that commemorates spring in the Rogue Valley). I was determined to participate - though not willing to push myself physically and create even more setbacks. After 3 weeks, when I began to run again, I discovered the pain from my right ab muscle being cut up to remove my gall bladder and had to use a brace around that muscle to do it. I was slow at getting back, but oh so determined.

Guess what? In all of my drama and life changing events...I forgot to register for the race. March 15 was the deadline for a shirt, and April 5th (Tuesday) was the last day to register. I tried to register on my lunch break at 11:45. Registration closed at 11:30. This race meant so much to me...I was heart-broken! I felt frantic...what could I do? Run without a number? Just go be a spectator? First...I cried my big-girl disappointed tears, then, I called the number for the race director - hoping to get in anyway. Message said it all .....they had 3700 entries, and they were booked SOLID. "Register early next year for a guaranteed spot."
Next year? I won't even be here. More big-girl tears. Then I called again...and decided to leave a message. I gave my information and story, and said..."if there is any possible way for me to run, please let me run."

The next day (Wednesday) I got a phone call from Zella, the race director. She got my message - asked me a few questions, and offered me a spot in the run. I felt like I had won the lottery! A 1 in 3700 chance that I needed - and God provided. After we chatted a few minutes, she said, "Michele, I think God wanted you to have this spot." I was even offered a shirt! She then asked if she could pass on my info to the media who were looking for inspirational stories from this year's Pear Blossom. Grateful to help HER in any way I could....I agreed and sent her all of my info to get me signed up.

On Thursday, Joe Marlinghi from NBC Channel 5 called and asked to meet me at the club around 3pm for an interview. You can see the story here..... Pear Blossom Runners Story

On Saturday morning, I put on my silly "ab brace", proudly pinned on my number - 381 - and set out to run my last run here as a resident of Oregon. Adam (my incredible trainer) ran with me (for a couple miles), along with my die-hard running junkie amazing friend Laurie. It meant SO much to me to be there with them...I wish I could have had everyone who has impacted me so much running on that road with me.

What an awesome experience it was. I got to run, and I got to publicly share my story of not giving up with so many people. It is a message I think God doesn't want me to keep to myself! You can see pictures from the run here.... My Pear Blossom Run 2011